By Robert Rudelic BS, NMT, MES
Eat for the body you want, not for the body you have!
By Robert Rudelic BS, NMT, MES
Psychology Today reports that “15% of women and 11% of men said they would give up five years of their life to be slim – and still people cannot lose weight! And, a whopping 36% of Americans vow to lose weight every New Year – but most never succeed!”
Weight loss is one of the most complex problems in our society. Working with clients who want to lose weight has been easy in recent years because I was only dealing with the physical and nutritional reasons for their weight gain.
I’ve been very successful at helping c lients lose the weight and achieve their goals but they have not been very successful at keeping the weight off – there’s a disconnect – whether it’s the coaching they get working with me during the weight loss process, or they like the challenge and measurable goals of the weight loss, when they have achieved the target weight they seem to lose interest in maintenance. It’s not as glamorous to maintain as to lose. They also don’t get as much positive support maintaining as when they did while losing the weight. They know what to eat, when to eat it and how much of it to eat, that’s part of what I teach them……but, something was missing.
I was working with Andrea (not her real name) for several years. She came to see me regularly for tune-ups. In the past we had put together weight loss plans that worked initially but she always seemed to “fall off the wagon.” This was followed by feeling bad, beating herself up and feeling guilty. She eventually came full circle and wanted to lose weight again. Each time around her belief that she could pull it off was weaker but her intension and optimism was stronger.
It was in the Fall when her urge to lose became strong again. This time I added a new element to her program, PowerTapping. She had already experienced using PowerTapping for pain so it was not completely foreign to her. She was surprised to learn it could be used to help her be more healthy and to lose weight. We went through all the usual steps around food choices, supplements, water intake and an exercise plan. On her next appointment she came in with her first week food diary and that’s where we started.
We were going through the diary and as I questioned her about why she ate what she ate and why she ate it, it was by identifying when she ate it she began to notice she ate for no reason (other than boredom.) Without saying anything she told me why she gained the weight back and it wasn’t because she ate too many fatty foods.
She listed three things that cause her to gain weight. She ate too much at each meal, she ate too late in the evening (big dinners after 8PM) and snacked on chocolate too often.
Now we had something to start with! I went to work on the overeating problem because it would make the biggest and fastest impact with what she’s learned about her eating habits to help her start losing weight again. As we were tapping she stopped and said, “I don’t have to over eat. I just don’t think about what I’m doing. I’m on autopilot and I lose my focus.” So we tapped on her inability to stay focused on her goal. She rated that high on the frustration scale and within a few minutes it was a non- issue, but what came up for her was her anger at sabotaging her efforts and feeling discouraged because she had to start all over from the beginning.
Her two issues were anger and the inability to forgive herself, and then also the feeling that she had to start all over again from the beginning. We tapped to overcome her anger at herself which quickly turned into not being able to forgive herself for failing, and not looking or feeling like she wanted when she knows she’s capable of it. That took several rounds and we found several other issues around a lack of self-forgiveness.
We often have unreal expectations of our selves. I’ve found that having unreal expectations is one of the most prevalent issues for yoyo dieters as well as anyone trying to quit mindlessly doing something over and over again. This went on for a while so I gave her a homework assignment where she tapped twice a day with self-forgiveness and overeating in her intension statements.
She called three days later and told me that she had lost 2 pounds without doing anything! On her next visit she said she noticed she was eating less and was not as hungry at dinner lately so she went with it but felt as though she needed to eat dinner. We tapped to eliminate the belief she needs to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner but instead she should pay attention to her body and mind and eat a snack size meal when she feels the need to eat without being too hungry. The combination of good nutrition, better eating behavior and tapping to eliminate self-sabotaging beliefs works almost every time. Andrea made a curious statement to me one day – she said that her husband noticed that she was far less frustrated with herself and had more patients overall.
Often when someone is making changes they only see the conspicuous changes, others though will notice all the other changes that happen as a result of the work they have done.
Andrea had a number in mind as to how many pounds she wanted to lose. So we set up a goal and continued to work on it. At the 5 week mark she said to me in response to my question as to how things were going that she had lost some momentum and had stopped losing weight. She was not gaining any back but she had plateaued.
We talked for a while and I felt it was time to see if there was anything from her past that was getting in her way of success. Sure enough as is often the case, there was. As a child she had issues with her mother. Her sister was a favorite – cute and social – you know the type. Her mom always compared the two sisters and Andrea felt inferior to her sister. There was a lot of resentment towards both of them with a dose of anger towards her mom and jealousy towards her sister. We focused on a specific incident that brought back many of these issues at once. I had her visualize the whole episode and whenever strong emotions came to the surface I had her stop and tap them out. Needless to say we stopped several times in the beginning to tap on very strong emotions. I could clearly see the correlations to her present plateau.
This technique is something I recommend for everyone as a way to access how you are feeling and is particularly good when you can’t access your feelings about a subject.
When we were through she took a big breath and sighed. She said she never put it together like that before but it all made sense now. She then remembered there was this girl at school, which triggered another round of questioning and exploration and a visual tapping sequence.
This girl was another influence in her life that made her self-esteem suffer by feeling less than pretty and less than popular. As we went through this it was clear to her that it was all the same, just a different aspect of the problem. By the end of the session she felt relieved and emotionally settled. Again she was on her way and this time it was even easier than before.
One thing that’s important is to be persistent and continue doing the work even when you don’t want or feel you need to.
There’s an old saying, “If you stop on the road to Kamakura (a city in Japan) on the 11th day you’ll never be able to see the cherry blossoms on the 12th. So, if you stop short of your goal you’ll never know the delight that awaited you.
It was the 11th day for Andrea with just a few weeks left until her target date and only 5 pounds to go. The holidays were fast approaching and work was stressing her out but she was determined to remain steadfast – she now had an invincible mindset and would not allow her inner saboteur to win. We made some minor adjustments in her program and had her focus on amplifying her desire of achieving her goal. Remember persistence and consistency is the key to long-term success and happiness.
Simply put –
PowerTapping is the master tool that enables you to change old self sabotaging beliefs and create new habits that allow you to accomplish you goals.
Remember the famous Babe Ruth Quote –
For more information, visit our PowerTapping page.
San Francisco, CA 94107
Contact Us: www.RobertRudelic.com/contact
By Robert Rudelic BS, NMT, MES
Used by professional athletes to overcome concussion injury and can be used by anyone – there is a way to reset and reverse the traumatic experience! Discover the truth…
Concussion and Post-Concussion Solutions
Parents are more concerned than ever about their children getting injured playing sports. The fastest growing area of concern is concussions and girls are now in the mix with so many playing soccer (one of the of highest risk sports for concussions).
In fact, concussions are more worrisome than most injuries whether from sports or other activities because of the long lasting effects. Take a look at some surprising data;
Statistics: The centers for disease control and prevention (CDC) reports that three traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) occur every minute, 5.3 million persons live with disabilities related to brain injury, and that TBIs cost Americans $76.5 billion in medical care, rehabilitation, and loss of work every year. Multiple reports note that sports participants, including pediatric, college, and professional, sustain a large number of TBIs annually. The majority (75–85%) of TBIs are mild, also known as concussion. Current epidemiological reports find that girls’ soccer, American football, and ice hockey have the highest incidence of concussion. A history of one or more concussions is a risk factor for a subsequent concussion. Sex as a risk factor for concussion is controversial, but for sports in which the playing rules are similar, such as soccer or basketball, females appear to have as much as a two-fold higher risk for concussion.
* The information in this document has been compiled from multiple sources.
What is a concussion?
A concussion is a type of traumatic brain injury—(aka TBI), caused by a bump, blow, or jolt to the head or by a hit to the body that causes the head and brain to move rapidly back and forth (like a whiplash injury). This sudden movement can cause the brain to bounce around or twist in the skull, creating chemical changes in the brain and sometimes stretching and damaging brain cells.10 Symptoms of Concussion
- Memory Loss
- Ringing Ears
- Slurred Speech
- Loss of Concentration
What is the difference between children’s and adults concussions?
There are major differences between adults and children when it comes to TBI. TBI is the leading cause of disability and death for children in the US, and the two age groups at greatest risk are 0-4 and 15-19. Young people are at greater risk of severe brain injuries because their developing brains are undergoing a complex and sensitive process of growth. A National Institutes of Health Project studied over a hundred young people as they grew by scanning the developing brain. This study revealed that even though the brain reaches approximately 90 percent of its full size by the time a person is six years old, there is a massive reorganization that occurs within the brain between ages 12 and 25.
During the brain’s development, the axons (neurons that send signals to other neurons) need time to develop myelin, which eventually boosts the transmission speed between neurons. At the same time, dendrites (branchlike extensions that neurons use to receive the signals from axons) grow and develop. This causes the brain’s cortex, where we do our complex and high-level thinking, to become more efficient.
Through imaging work and similar studies of young minds, it has become clear that the brain grows and matures throughout adolescence and beyond. Because of the long time it takes for the brain to fully grow and mature, suffering from any kind of brain injury during its development can have severe and lasting consequences for an individual’s health and wellbeing.
For example, studies done by the University of Virginia Medical School have determined that the development of a brain has a significant effect on the time period of recovery from a TBI – even mild TBI, which we commonly refer to as a concussion. Research suggests that the recovery time of a mature brain is within five to ten days while the vulnerability of a young brain makes recovery time much longer and can result in long-term difficulties for that individual.
Dr. Jeffrey Barth, in his presentation for Brainline.org, states “The brain develops from the bottom up and from the back forward. So the last thing that kicks in is the frontal lobes, and that is the area of judgment.” The results of a TBI on a developing brain can thus be extremely detrimental and can prevent the continued growth that would normally happen during various stages of life.
Are there different types of concussions?
There are 3 types of concussions –
- Grade 1 – Mild. In the old days this is what was called getting your “bell rung”. You get stunned for a few seconds and then shake it off. This is now known as a Grade 1 Concussion. The symptoms last for less than 15 minutes with no loss of consciousness.
- Grade 2 – Moderate. There is no loss of consciousness but symptoms last for longer than 15 minutes.
- Grade 3 – Severe. You’re knocked out! Unconscious for a few seconds or more. This is the most severe and quite often is accompanied by other injuries including whiplash and cervical injuries.
What are the initial symptoms of concussion?
Hyper arousal, anger, a short temper, dazed, confused or disoriented, difficulty sleeping or sleeping more than usual, dizziness or loss of balance.
Why do brain injuries look like ADHD?
Often ADD and/or ADHD are misdiagnosis and could be the result of post-concussion syndrome. A traumatic brain injury (TBI) results in damage to the brain that leads to problems like forgetfulness, poor focus, impulsivity, and mood shifts. It can happen from sports injuries, car accidents, falls, falling off a bike or other similar events that damage the brain. Concussion is a mild form of TBI. More severe TBI’s usually lead to longer lasting problems and in the most severe cases, they can cause long-term comas or even death.
The lasting effects of TBI can look amazingly similar to ADHD. The problems related to ADHD and TBI look so similar that they are hard to tell apart. Recent research suggests a link between the two disorders and the possible relationship between ADHD and TBI.
What is “chronic neurobehavioral dysfunction” and what are the risk factors linked to?
The term neurobehavioral refers to the type of behavioral problems that are associated with brain disorders. It is a term frequently used to describe the serious behavioral problems often seen after traumatic brain injury. The term “neuropsychiatric” is also used to refer to the same behaviors. Risk factors for neurobehavioral disorders in professional athletes include prior concussion, longer exposure to the sport, having the ApoE4 gene, (the riskiest known Alzheimer’s gene), age, gender and previous concussions.
What is the current medical recommendations for initial concussion?
After a visit to the doctor or pediatrician and perhaps a referral to a neurologist…..they generally recommend to just go home, take it easy and you’ll be better in a couple of weeks or months. Your doctor may also recommend over-the-counter pain relievers such as Advil or Tylenol (although there is no evidence they have a positive effect), encourage you to get plenty of rest, avoid sports and other strenuous activities, avoid driving a vehicle or riding a bike for 24 hours or even a few weeks or months – depending on the severity of your injury, and avoid alcohol and stay away from computer and phone screens.
What else can be done?
If someone has suffered a sufficiently bad injury, it is likely that they would have a CT scan or MRI to directly identify an area of bleeding, fractured skull, or other injury but the first 10 days are crucial. Creating the best healing environment is just common sense. I recommend, stay away from sugar. Hydrate all day long for better electrical conductivity. Drink calming tea like chamomile or kava-kava to help keep stress low and manage anxiety. Walk to keep lymphatic flow moving. Use food based supplements like fish oil, nutrient dense greens and fruit powders, nitric oxide drinks like beet juice and the nutritional supplement vinpocetine for cognitive protection and to improve circulation in the brain.
What is post-concussion syndrome?
Post-concussion syndrome refers to the lingering symptoms following a concussion or a mild traumatic brain injury (TBI). It’s also known as post-concussive syndrome. This condition is typically diagnosed when a person who has recently suffered a head injury continues to feel certain symptoms following a concussion. These often include dizziness, fatigue, brain-fog, headaches, sleeplessness, etc. Post-concussion syndrome can begin to occur within days of the head injury or in many cases it can sometimes take weeks for the symptoms to appear.
How does post-concussion syndrome manifests and progress?
The pathophysiology of ongoing symptoms from the original concussion injury may reflect multiple causes: anatomic, neuro-metabolic, and physiologic. Long term prognosis if left untreated can result into debilitating physical and mental/emotional disorders. The brain shrinks and becomes deformed over time causing dementia like symptoms. Studies show that people who suffer a concussion may be three times more likely to commit suicide years after their brain injury. Repeated concussions are known to cause lasting injuries to the brain and have an impact on long-term brain health that affect brain chemistry, increasing the risk of mood disorders that can lead to suicide.
What are the symptoms?
Ongoing symptoms reflect either a prolonged version of the concussion or a manifestation of other processes, such as cervical injury, migraine headaches, depression, chronic pain, vestibular dysfunction, visual dysfunction, or a combination of conditions.
As an integrative therapist I have many tools in my toolbox. Getting fast and lasting results is the core of my 25 + year practice in San Francisco. My motto has always been “Just getting out of pain is not enough. The reestablishment of strength, flexibility and proper biomechanics is essential for good health.” As it pertains to concussions and my coaching work, I root out and eliminate the core causes and use tools that have a high impact and do it in the shortest amount of time.
My clients include people from all walks of life and athletes on all levels treating physical injuries and equally important treating the mental/emotional injuries that result from the injury itself.
To quote the late great Dr. John E. Sarno; “All physicians should be practitioners of “holistic medicine” in the sense that they recognize the interaction between mind and body. To leave the emotional dimension out of the study of health and illness is poor medicine and poor science.”
The first effective treatment for concussion is Frequency Specific Microcurrent (FSM) as it removes the concussion from the body/mind. Since the memory of the trauma is stored in the body/mind it’s important to remove the effects of concussion from the brain. It’s similar to rebooting your computer when it is not functioning correctly and not processing information effectively. Control alt delete is in fact what the Frequency Specific Microcurrent does for our brain. The science behind Frequency Specific Microcurrent (FSM) is extensive. In a scholarly article published by the Cleveland Clinic, FSM works by potentially increasing the production of the substance ATP in injured tissues. ATP is the major source of energy for all cellular reactions in the body. Because treatment with FSM can increase ATP production by as much as 500% in damaged tissues, this may help with the recovery process.
Facts about FSM:
- Increases ATP (the body’s own chemical energy) production by up to 500%
- Reduces Cox-mediated inflammation by approximately 60%
- Increases protein synthesis by 70%
- Increases amino acid transport by up to 40%
- Remodels and transforms scar tissue
- Increases “feel good” Beta endorphin levels
- Helps restore depleted adrenal function
- Reduces fracture repair time by up to 50%
- Enhances DNA synthesis, insulin binding, oxygenation, cellular repair, intracellular calcium uptake and immune function
- Enhances neuromuscular recovery rate between events
I combine FSM and PowerTapping (the technique from my groundbreaking book) “Anything Is Possible – The Art and Science of Tapping Into Your Power”.
PowerTapping (a meridian based technique) has been described by some as one of the most important breakthroughs in the area of psychology in this century and successfully used by thousands of people with a broad range of difficulties and is becoming known to many amazed users as a modern miracle. It can dramatically relieve mental/emotional disturbances along with many physical symptoms. It works in minutes and the results are permanent by putting back in a positive belief once the negative belief is removed. Tapping techniques are versatile and are being used confidently by therapists on clients with successes on even the most difficult problems.
Combination of PowerTapping and Frequency Specific Microcurrent (FSM)
Every cell in our body is made up of molecules, which are made up of atoms, which are made up of energy. Our bodies are made of molecules, which are made up of atoms, which are made up of energy. Everything has a vibrational frequency that is unique to the structure with these atoms vibrating at various rates of frequency and manifesting themselves in our skeletal structure, organs, glands, and fluids. As these energy systems become unbalanced, the body begins to malfunction and we experience fatigue, pain, and disease. PowerTapping is a technique that enables us to access the sub-conscious mind – our body’s bio-computer to determine, locate, and correct energetic imbalances. PowerTapping is simply tapping into the subconscious mind (the storage place of our belief system) and eliminating limiting beliefs and replacing them with beliefs that support an intended result.
Our body is just like a computer. Every molecule in every cell stores memories of trauma, disease and all lifestyle stress. PowerTapping gives us a direct means of accessing that computer so we can identify the underlying cause of the problem and energetically release it. The meridians are portals into the body/mind. Applying a PowerTapping sequence (algorithm) on the meridian points help clear any blocks causing distress in the energetic body.
Energy blockages are released through balancing vibrational energy points associated with the organs, glands and systems of the body. Healing occurs on a cellular level rather than symptomatic relief.
PowerTapping is encompassed under this banner of Energy Medicine/ Energy Psychology. Like all of the forms of Energy Medicine it was adapted from Applied Kinesiology and the principles inherent in Chinese medicine and the Meridian System which have been practiced for thousands of years.
Most forms of energy medicine have only been known since the mid 1980’s, but they are based on firm groundwork of Eastern medicine that stretches back at least 5000 years. Acupuncture, chakras, the subtle energies, yoga, gi gong, and applied kinesiology are the theoretical underpinnings. The newer field of quantum physics and the electrical experiments of Tesla have led to a further understanding of why these techniques work.
All of these systems work by accessing the more primitive parts of the brain and therefore work on the subconscious processes rather than focusing on the cognitive and conscious prefrontal cortex. It also accesses the subtle energies of the acupressure / acupuncture points and the meridian system in Chinese medicine.
Because of this, change is often more rapid, less painful, and more complete than traditional talk therapy.
Some physicians, such as one of the founders of the American Holistic Medical Association, C. Norman Shealy, MD, PhD, are making statements such as “Energy medicine is the future of all medicine.” Mehmet C. Oz, MD, the popular Oprah guest known as “Dr. Oz” has said that “Energy Medicine is the next big thing.” And according to Deepak Chopra, MD, “We are each a localized field of energy and information with cybernetic feedback loops interacting within a non-local field of energy and information.”
Dr. Joseph Mercola, DO (Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine) runs the most popular alternative health web site on the planet, and is an avid proponent of tapping, he has stated on Twitter that “An option for excellent pain relief without any of the health hazards that typical pain relievers carry is Meridian Tapping Technique or MTT.”
There is a better way to fully recover from concussions and it requires no drugs, surgeries or long lasting psychotherapy – it’s FSM and PowerTapping. When PowerTapping and Frequency Specific Microcurrent treatments are combined – the results are rapid and amazing. The microcurrent addresses and cleans up the physical manifestations of the trauma and the PowerTapping addresses and cleans up the mental and emotional manifestations of the trauma. It’s essential to address both for full recovery.
My success working with concussion injuries and post-concussion syndrome is extensive and my client testimonials are many – from auto accidents, falls and athletes of all ages and all sports – from the playground, casual weekend warriors to professional athletes…
“Robert knows and understands an athlete’s mind and body. He helps me recover faster, perform better and stay healthy. I view Robert as one of my secret weapons.”
Bill Romanowski Former NFL Great and Author
For more information, visit our PowerTapping page.
San Francisco, CA 94107
Contact Us: www.RobertRudelic.com/contact
By Robert Rudelic BS, NMT, MESCoping With Infertility – the mental toll and the roll of epigenetics and why unexplained infertility is not always just a medical or physical problem!
Scientists have made some incredible new discoveries on how our minds can literally affect our biology, especially through the study of epigenetics, the branch of science that looks at how inherited changes of phenotype (appearance) or gene expression are caused by mechanisms other than changes in the underlying DNA sequence. Instead of looking at DNA as the only factor controlling our biology, scientists are also looking at what’s actually controlling the DNA, which includes our thoughts.
How Does This Relate to Fertility?
So what does any of this have to do with fertility? New evidence suggests that stress does affect fertility. Recent studies show that women with high levels of alpha-amylase, an enzyme that correlates with stress, have a harder time getting pregnant.
Infertility is a devastating issue for millions of people. While many women get pregnant easily, some even by accident, couples challenged by infertility seem blocked from achieving their goal of having a family. What started out as a dream being fulfilled quickly becomes an all-encompassing dilemma or obsession as it’s been described to me by many women going through this journey. They feel out of control, questioning themselves and their femininity, the who, what, how and all the why’s….
› Statistics – Source (Centers for Disease Control)
- 28% of infertility problems are unexplained. Many believe is it higher than 28%
- The number of women ages 15-44 with impaired fecundity (impaired ability to get pregnant or carry a baby to term): 7.5 million
- Percent of women ages 15-44 with impaired fecundity: 12.3%
- Number of married women ages 15-44 that are infertile (unable to get pregnant after at least 12 consecutive months of unprotected sex with partner): 1.0 million
- Percent of married women ages 15-44 that are infertile: 6.1%
- Number of women ages 15-44 who have ever used infertility services: 11.3 million
- The role stress plays in the lack of successful conceptions is often discounted in the medical community
- Nutrition advise and planning is something the couples must seek help for on their own
- The whole process is very cold and dehumanizing. (What effect does that have on the baby?)
Case Study of Mark and Jenna
Mark and Jenna came to me looking for answers. They had been trying to conceive for two years with no results. In the beginning, they never gave it a thought that there would be a problem getting pregnant. They were having fun painting the baby’s room, planning their future schedules to accommodate their new addition, arranging for daycare, etc. After several months of trying with no success, they began to worry and started noticing ads about infertility and its many causes – and, they asked themselves “could this be us? Could we be one of “them”? Little did they know at the time what that long two year journey would entail for them but in the end they found a bright light on the horizon!
› Study Format – 10 Session Case Study
› Overview of Client(s)
Mark and Jenna, a young couple in love, doing well in their careers with a strong social circle and enjoying the love and support of their families. It seemed like everyone around them was moving forward and getting serious about life, finding mates, getting married and settling in for the next phase of their lives.
Mark and Jenna wanted to have a family like many couples. They dreamed of being parents and having a community of friends centered around their kids. When they found out it was not going to be so easy their lives changed.
After a lot of thought and serious research they decided to enter the medical world of infertility thinking it would be as easy as a few tests, a couple rounds of Clomid (a common infertility drug) and they would be on their way. That’s what their friends told them and the medical community led them to believe – they had all the answers. Not so fast though! Even though Mark and Jenna were blessed with the luxury of having one of the leading infertility clinics in the country nearby, they soon became disillusioned and extremely disappointed.
For Mark and Jenna the incremental angst was growing with every failed attempt. The embarrassment when friends ask how things were going and the advice everyone was giving them was getting to be too much. Jenna was having nightmares now obsessing about having or not having a baby and crying at the mere sight of a young mother with her child. Mark had his own demons, especially helplessness. All he could do was be there for his young wife and hope for the best. Men are not wired for that. Men are problem solvers at heart and to make matters worse the doctors rarely consider the man unless sperm is the problem. Marks many fears were kept in the dark for fear he would upset Jenna in some way and cause even more anxiety in the relationship.
Along with the medical treatments they tried many things including detox programs, nutritional supplements, herbs, different sexual position, prayer, and still no results.
› Medical History
Jenna was diagnosed with endometriosis which is a very painful condition that did require surgery. This added to her anxiety over worrying if she was making the right decisions and if it would hurt her chances of getting pregnant. At times she did not have much confidence in the doctors but eventually relented to their suggestions out of fear – much of which was heightened by the doctors.
To overcome the emotional stress they were going through which they believed was contributing to their overall problem, ultimately get pregnant and have a family.
› Session 1
Valentine’s Day was the first session with Jenna. She set herself up on her back patio with her husband next to her and put her phone on speaker. I started by asking her a series of questions to assess her circumstances and get to know her a little. Very early in our conversation I realized that the first issue we needed to address was to get her out of her obsessive pattern of thinking of getting pregnant 24/7. When I asked her to rate the intensity of her obsessive thinking on a scale of 1-10, she said “25!” Along with thinking of getting pregnant 24/7, she was also experiencing feelings of guilt, embarrassment, shame, helplessness, anger, resentment, sadness and much more. Her emotions on so many levels were raw and her feeling of desperation was palpable.
After one hour of working with me she was amazed how calm she felt. When I had her go back and visualize the issue we worked on and bring to mind various scenarios around the situation, mentally create different circumstances around the situation to see if she could trigger the emotion and there was very little intensity left. She was amazed and so grateful for the experience. She later said that she had the best Valentine’s Day she’d had in years.
› Follow-Up Check-In Call
A few days after our initial session, we did a quick check-in to see how she was doing. She had text me a question about the tool I taught her in our session and needed to know if she was doing it correctly, so we did a brief review.
› Session 2
The focus of this session was to help Jenna regain her sanity and sense of self while going through this process and feel hopeful again. While day to day life was consumed by doctors’ appointments and thinking about getting pregnant, managing emotions is essential. Jenna had become overwhelmed and stressed by this all-consuming process. Managing stress is a key to not only getting pregnant but also having a healthy, happy baby. I introduced her to the work of Dr. Bruce Lipton – Internationally Acclaimed Epigenetics Pioneer and author of the book …“The Biology of Belief.” In this groundbreaking book he addresses the connection between the environment a baby is conceived in and the baby’s overall health in the womb and in the future. The environment is the key to conception and unfortunately this is mostly overlooked in the doctor’s office.
She started sleeping better and was feeling more hopeful and energized. Just the day before she had seen a friend with her new baby and because of applying what I taught her, she did not breakdown and cry afterwards. This was huge for her. She was feeling hopeful again and not so overwhelmed with emotions that she even accepted an invitation to a baby shower for a friend and was able to have a good time and handle questions about how she was doing with poise and composure with the feeling that everything was ok.
› Follow-Up Check-In Call
We talked about how she had handled herself in the presents of her friends and she expressed how she felt almost comfortable in answering their questions. Jenna was beginning to learn how to quickly address the negative emotions that show up sometimes in an instant.
› Session 3
Jenna shared how she was struggling as she took a look back on her present life and noticed that in so many ways all the days over the past two years were just the same old monotonous routine and – it was taking its toll. Just that morning, she woke up after having another nightmare and couldn’t shake the nagging desire to have a baby. Her thoughts while driving to work were on how many more people she’d have to hear about who are pregnant. At lunch a friend asked her how things were going. Driving home from work her thoughts were consumed with wondering if she’ll ever get pregnant. Upon arriving home she sees her husband and just wants his support but instead feels resentful.
Jenna is learning to embrace PowerTapping, (the tool I taught her) as a day to day practice and experiencing change in the way she perceives her world and is slowly becoming stronger and more confident. PowerTapping is a highly effective tool and can be done in the moment of upset or worry and takes as little as 30 seconds to calm down. Yoga or deep breathing or self-hypnosis or other methods don’t work so quickly. After spending a few minutes tapping she was surprised at her overall feeling of relief both physically and mentally.
› Follow-Up Check-In Call
She had a question about the PowerTapping technique which was “by doing it more often and for more time would I feel even better?” I said “Yes” and “Yes!” – and I also explained the added benefit would be that in a shorter amount of time she wouldn’t be tapping about these issues period – they’ll be gone.
› Session 4
Six days had passed since learning that the most recent attempt to get pregnant had failed. Jenna was taking estrogen to get her extremely low levels up so the embryo could take. It did not work. She “lost it” in the doctors’ office – kicking a trash can and ripping the paper cloth off the exam table. In our session she explained what happened and how she reacted. She was very down on herself as she usually is. Self-love will be an ongoing effort and process. I pointed out how well she did and the profound change she has made from where she was and how she would have reacted before we started our work and how she handled it this time. When she realized it she immediately recognized her old habit pattern and how well she felt responding in her new chosen response behavior.
This very disappointing incident would have set her off for weeks or even months plus added to her overall negative self talk that she’s damaged and will never have a baby. Instead she had a normal, healthy release of pain and disappointment then released the emotions with tapping and moved on.
› Follow-Up Check-In Call
We spoke briefly how she was so programed to react in certain ways and then we reinforced her new way of handling her emotions.
› Session 5
Jenna was very stressed because in just a few days she would be hosting her in-laws and would be breaking the news to them about the latest failure. I learned her mother in-law was not very nice to her and had treated her horribly since day one. She was not “good enough” for her son. Jenna had been previously married and because of that – she was flawed in her eyes. Jenna opened up about the history between them, and the roll Mark played in it. We worked on many of the aspects she presented and after we cleared the old hurts and resentments we shifted to how she (Jenna) wishes to be in the presences of her mother-in-law from now on. The visit was coming up so we rehearsed using P.I.V.M. – my advanced visualization method, and got her demeanor and wording down and she felt really good about how she wanted to handle the issue. I spoke to her about the need for her to “train” her mother-in-law how to treat her, and them as a couple. She decided on several things that will be needed for them to move forward and we rehearsed them as well. She felt confident and we finished with a few good fist pumps.
She now feels far less guilty about not living up to her own expectation and she’s not beating herself up as much either. All of this needs to be seen in context, she was “obsessed” with getting pregnant and it affected everything in her life in a negative way. She lived in a constant state of anxiety, self-doubt, anger, disappointment, helplessness and despair. Now she’s upbeat and more balanced than ever. She told me over and over again how grateful she is for having found me and the work I do is so powerful and how it could help so many people get through this journey better. She really has embraced the epigenetic model I presented to her. First create a host (womb on the physical level) that the baby would want to live in for 9 months then create a family environment the baby would want to grow up in.
› Follow-Up Check-In Call
Jenna was so excited to tell me how she had put into action everything we had worked on and how lovely her mother-in-law had been towards her during their visit.
› Session 6
Mark and Jenna were doing fine as a couple but as with all couples there were unspoken issues lurking. By looking forward and clearing up issues – it sets the table for a better relationship in the immediate and in the future. This involved working with Mark to clear some of his issues which stemmed directly from his family environment growing up. He desperately wanted to be able to stand up to his mother when she expresses disapproval of Jenna – the women he loves and chose to marry and point out and stop how she speaks to her disrespectfully even when others are present. We worked on how he can handle this in a straightforward way with strength and confidence and be vulnerable and empathetic and at the same time.
Mark had a major Ah Ha moment! It was a major breakthrough for him and it brought up some things to follow up on. Mark can be a bit passive so getting out of his comfort zone to take action is a big step. He now has a better understanding of how Jenna feels when his mother does and says hurtful things and his way of dealing with it is to just ignore it. This make Jenna feel unsupported and says to his mother that her actions are acceptable.
› Follow-Up Check-In Call
Wow – what an awesome call! Mark shared the conversation he had with his mother and felt almost ecstatic. Never before in his life had he been able to express his feelings to his mother and set boundaries. He brought up her prejudice against Jenna over her previous marriage and reminded her of his past relationship with his live-in girlfriend that lasted longer than Jenna’s marriage! How did a piece of paper make it so different? Before the conversation was over, they had come to an agreement on how things were going to be moving forward.
› Session 7
The focus in this session was on being completely open and honest about the ways in which they each handle stress. Jenna admitted that she had terrible eating habits and frequently visited McDonalds. Because both enjoy being outdoors and getting exercise, neither of them are particularly over weight – but whenever she felt stressed she would head for McDonalds. She didn’t need to be reminded that this was unhealthy and she knew she needed a better way to handle stress. She was unaware though of the hormonal damage she was inflicting on her body by eating this way so I went in depth on this issue and explained how this was a big problem and the hormonal disruption could have a profound effect on infertility. For Mark, he was not interested in going to McDonalds but his way of handling stress was to bury himself in his work and hide out behind his business and not be present for her.
They were both able to open up and the honesty between them was great. There was no blaming or judgment. We worked on Jenna creating a food journal and keeping a close eye on the stress eating. She was excited to make the change and more than willing to do the work. Mark made the commitment to take things head on and stop hiding behind his work. He agreed to be more open about how he was feeling and not look down on himself when he was feeling vulnerable.
› Follow-Up Check-In Call
Jenna was happy to report she had not been to McDonalds once since our last session and because of doing PowerTapping whenever she thought about it her desire to go there was greatly reduced. Mark was sticking to his work schedule and not staying in his office to avoid going home – no matter what was going on.
› Session 8
We focused more on Mark in this session. He, like many men have a difficult time with all of this because he alone can’t solve the problem. I addressed how men in our society are not necessary trained to be loving, supportive or vulnerable and how conventional man-wisdom says that real men don’t do that kind of stuff. If there’s a problem – head for the man-cave! Often men misinterpret being empathetic and vulnerable as weak, wimpy and emotionally unstable. We worked on getting in touch with and working through his feelings of being helpless, frustrated, guilty, angry, sad, and worried for his wife – many of the things men experience but don’t openly talk about. I taught him my P.I.V.M. technique that I had taught Jenna and we worked on him coming to terms and being ok with his feelings and how best to handle things when certain situations came up.
I believe men are the real untold story as well as the unaddressed party in all of this. So much focus is on the women – that’s appropriate, but men can play such an important roll if trained to do so. So much is not understood about that roll men have in the fertility process and what men need to do to really be an integral part of it. Mark was beginning to understand the importance of his roll and the need for him to really be there for Jenna and how vulnerability leads to empathy, inner peace and strength. Practicing and using the PowerTapping tool he now owns, is a fast and painless process that pays dividends immediately and also sets the stage for a stronger relationship in the future.
› Follow-Up Check-In Call
Quick call and we talked about how Mark was doing. Positive overall and went through a round of P.I.V.M.
› Session 9
An epigenetic perspective is how I approached this session. We worked on the importance of a strong healthy host, Jenna, the mother – the micro climate. Then, the need for Mark and Jenna to be a loving, committed couple for the baby to grow up in that macro climate. The need for Jenna, the host, to take care of herself is taking care of the host for the baby, this is the first step. Mental and emotional health, nutrition, exercise, work load all need to be addressed and adjusted so the baby has the best environment to grow in. Having a loving support structure is important but the host must love herself because that is translated to the baby from the moment of conception.
Mark and Jenna are now fully committed to getting every aspect of their life on track and create the best environment and be ready for the blessing they believe is coming.
› Session 10
We did a complete review of the 10 weeks we had spent working together and how far both Mark and Jenna had come from that first session. We had a few good laughs about some of the things that had once been such a huge problem that now seemed a bit silly. We reinforced all of the steps to take when any negative emotion showed up and how to kick it to the curb.
Mark and Jenna came to me through the recommendation of a friend of theirs who had a devastating crisis that I coached him through and he was able to successfully move through it. Jenna said “when I first spoke to Robert, he seemed to know exactly what I was going through -it was like he was in my head”. What a joy to see the difference 10 weeks make!
When you have the proper tools for the job the job gets done faster and with better results. Time is of the essence especially after having been in the infertility maze for a while. Most of all – you’re not alone in the battle. My effective, completely non-invasive approach gets results!
Oh – and by the way – Jenna is expecting her second child….naturally!